I love it when the weather gets warmer.
Not only is it a great time to get a tan, it's a great time to find a man.
Seriously, to me, the best part of summer is meeting a nice cool guy and making memories that will last through Spring.
It should be about fun, and not some serious thing, but I've seen too many of my friends make the mistake of trying to stretch a summer fling into a full-blown romance.
Therefore, I'd like to offer a few tips to help you enjoy your summer flings to the utmost and minimize needless stress or heartache.
1. Stay In The Moment
This is the most important rule. A summer romance should be a carefree thing that focuses on the here and now, not the future. Too many people nip their flings in the bud by worrying if there is staying power.
Summer flings aren't about that. They're about enjoying where you are right when it happens.
2. Give Yourself Time.
The best summer flings are a combination of chemistry and coincidence. You meet someone at a party and you hang out and groove on each other's energy (even better if you're spending the summer far away from home).
But that doesn't mean just hooking up with anyone. Ideally, you're in a place that fosters fun, romance and friendship (for instance, if you're a camp counselor or waitressing in Alaska like I did last year).
Under the perfect scenario, you connect with some cutie as friends and that connection builds and smolders until you both realize you only have two weeks left and spend that whole time enjoying the time you have together.
In fact, I think there should be a rule that the first kiss with a summer love shouldn't happen until August 15.
Summer romances are destined to burn out, but it's better if they smolder in the beginning rather than burst into flames right away.
3. Get Out Of Your Zone
Summer flings allow you to test the boundaries of who you find attractive. For instance, when I waitressed in Alaska last year, there was this one cook who was a little shorter than I like (and maybe a little pudgy too). But he was so funny and always in a good mood, that I found myself gravitating towards him without thinking about it.
Then, one night, we were at an after-work party and started joking about summer romances and I told him that he better hurry and go find someone if he wanted one because time was running out.
He looked at me and said, "I've stopped looking," and kissed me tenderly on the lips. Like I said, I didn't think he was my type, but he was from that point on -- and we had a great time until we had to go our separate ways.
4. Remember The Expiration Date
Summer romances should be done by Labor Day, but it doesn't have to end badly. Sure, you can make promises to e-mail each other (and maybe you do), but holding on to a summer love is like holding on to a butterfly. Yeah, it's in your hand, but it sure looked prettier when it was flying around.
Summer love is the only time when a guy can get away with saying, "I'll call you," and not actually do it. In fact, if he actually does try to call you, it's kinda creepy.
There is an exception: You are allowed to reignite a summer romance next summer.
5. It's Okay To Be Sad When It Ends (And It Will End)
The end of a summer romance should be a little melancholy. You had a great time and felt more alive than before. Honor that feeling, but also realize that what you loved wasn't just a special person, but also a special time and a special place and they are all intertwined.
That's why whenever one of my friends gets bummed about the end of a summer love, I quote a line from an old movie my Dad likes called "Casablanca": "We'll always have Paris."
If you do a summer romance right, you do always have Paris, even if, like in my case, it actually happened in Alaska.
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